Half-finished Sandman Tattoo

Title is irrelevant. I’m just pissed that this tattoo still isn’t finished. I shall go to tattoo guy and see how much it’s going to be and possibly offer him my first born child as payment.

Daily Hot Guy

King Henry the Hot

 

I can’t say enough about the Tudors. It’s pure girl porn. The costumes are fantastic. The actors are intense. I’m fascinated by Luther and the revolt in real life, so to see it acted out is just stupendous. I’m only on season 2 so don’t spoil anything for me (I mean, beyond what the history books have already spoiled).  

Adventures in Iantoland

So as to limit the squee from my main twitter account, I have created a new account dedicated purely to discussions of the adventures in Iantoland. Check it out at www.twitter.com/iantolandtweets.  I mostly RT the adventures of others, but I throw in some Iantoisms and quotes and Garth David-Lloyd and John Barrowman related news. If you want to squee with us, here’s your chance.

Me, I haven’t been around much. Okay so I may be cheating with SimonPeggland… Last time I was about, Ianto snapped at Jack because Jack was leaving AGAIN. I told Jack I’d talk to Ianto, and Jack grumpily left to save some planet which I’ve never heard of. He’ll be back soon.  So Ianto and I settled down in front of the fireplace and had a chat about what it’s like to be in love with a shooting star. There were tears, but I think we worked through some stuff. Not very exciting, I know.

Random Geekery

My big announcement, in case you haven’t heard through twitter, is that I will be writing some television reviews for www.giantkillersquid.com. I highly suggest you check out this blog. It has a stunning design and pretty much only reports on really cool things, oh and go read my review of Sanctuary. DO EET NOW.

As such, I’m looking for ideas, so I’d love to hear what you guys want to read about. I may be doing a recap of important TV shows of the decade, so leave a comment and tell me what your favorite shows from the last 10 years are. I’ll also be working on reviews and previews of the Doctor Who specials. Any other geek tv should be writing about?

That’s all for now. Been told I have to go back to work, but I may sneak out and buy comics and coffee, as is my right as a North American consumer. I took two ativan because I effed up a golf package, and now my head is swimming happily in the clouds. And twitter is broke… lame.

In Defence of Torchwood Children of Earth Day Five

dead.

 

I have a confession. I didn’t actually watch Day Five last night. To be fair, I have seen it three times already. I was feeling quite Iantonian, as in not being able to see any point in watching sans-Ianto. This does not imply any judgements on series four. I will watch series four and hold up a little flag that says ‘Go Series Four!’

I’ve seen Day Five three times. Is this not enough for you people?!?!?!

This is evidence that Children of Earth is different from regular Torchwood one shots. I could pretty  much watch the episode ‘From Out of the Rain’ like 24 hours a day for the rest of my life. Not just because Ianto is happy and whimsical and really stoked to be going to the movies, but because regular Torchwood episodes are so full of nuance and dry humor that they can be watched over and over again.

Children of Earth gets its story told and then it’s done and you put it on a shelf, never to think of it again. Well, most Iantonians I know watch up until Day Three because there are some cute moments in those episodes.

Day Five

Why they decided to change the narrative device to the ‘Blair Witch Project’ I’ll never know. I think it’s tacky. Excuse the non-linear story telling. It’s not my fault.

Gwen and Rhys have gone off to save Ianto’s niece and nephew, and we start this episode with Gwen narrating the events for posterity on a shaky handcam. She wonders why the Doctor doesn’t save them… (CAUSE NO ONE CALLED HIM ON HIS BLOODY CELLPHONE! or does he lose the cell phone somewhere? I don’t remember.) She concludes that he doesn’t save them because he is disgusted with humanity. I think saying this is an insult to the Doctor’s benevolent grace for the human race.  Regardless.

The government has decided to give the 456 their 10%, rounding up school children under the guise of ‘innoculations’ to prevent them from speaking in unison. The slimy Prime Minister has also announced that the children of the loyal Frobisher will be sent for ‘innoculations’ as well, meaning they will become alien juice boxes. Frobisher snaps and goes home kills his family, and himself.

Lois Habiba is in jail for treason, and Frobisher’s PA, Spears, comes to visit her, taking the Torchwood contact lenses to video the PM’s nefarious actions. Jack works with MI5’s Mr. Dekker to create a reconstitution wave to combat the 456. The only catch is that Jack needs to use the only kid they have hanging around to send the wave, which happens to be his grandson Steven. Crass Jack does this, killing Steven, and propelling himself into 6 months of perpetual grief.

In the last scene, we see Gwen with a big baby bump, saying a teary goodbye to Jack as he jets off to go travel and mourn.

It all sounds quite ridiculous, but I’m still in tears. Tears for the decision Frobisher made, tears for the decision Jack had to make, tears for Gwen left behind on Earth without her best friends. Tears that I really want to make a House joke here (why not try the deltawave err… reconstitution wave first?????).

I think you’ve probably already heard my main defence of the Children of Earth, and that is that it was designed to make us suffer and feel hopeless, and it did just that. As a masochist, this pleases me. It’s good to have a good sob once in a while, or EVERY WEEK SINCE THE SUMMER!

So what’s the future of Torchwood?

The hub is blown up.

The tea boy is dead.

Jack is wandering the universe trying to find himself.

Gwen is going to be a mum.

We still haven’t found the SUV.

According to imdb.com, Barrowman is guest starring as Captain Jack on the Doctor Who Christmas and New Years Specials. If you’ve seen the latest Doctor Who offering, you would know the Doctor is getting a little cracked himself. This leaves me breathlessly anticipating what my two favorite heroes of time and space will have to say to each other as they have now realized that life is shit and there are no right answers.

Caveat: people of PURE EVIL, have speculated that Jack will only be in the Doctor’s flashbacks. If this is true, I may die.

If he is truly in the episode for realz, and he smiles his Harkness smile and introduces himself to ANYONE, I will be blogging from the mental hospital. He promised us all that Ianto Jones would never be just a blip in time. He has to keep this promise.

Last Christmas, I went manic and didn’t sleep for no particular reason. This Christmas, I have all this to look forward to, and I will suffer a complete twitter blackout to avoid spoilers, AND wait 6 hours for a download. THERE WILL BE NO SLEEPING, only flailing of arms. If I’m smart, I’ll go see Sherlock Holmes while I’m waiting, and every time I see Jude Law, I will picture Gareth David-Lloyd and giggle. TEE HEE.

GDL is Dr. Watson and there’s a T-rex: http://www.theasylum.cc/product.php?id=164

Also, I have a cool announcement tonight. Stay tuned!

In Defence of Torchwood:The Children of Earth Day Four (please don’t kill me with your fangirl hate edition)

Spoilers. He’s dead. If you didn’t know this, where have you been? And we weren’t expecting this. No one was. KIND OF A SHOCK.

Day Four

I totally forgot that originally they bartered the children with the 456 for flu vaccine. That’s funny on so many levels.

We are once again introduced to Crass Jack. Crass Jack made me cry. The powers that be announce that they have chosen Jack to deliver the 12 kids to the 456 in 1965 because they needed ‘someone who doesn’t care.’ Jack delivers the kiddies to the 456 telling them they’re going on an adventure and to trust ‘uncle Jack.’

We all like our heroes to have cracks, but nice, little, endearing cracks. Owen has mother issues, Ianto has father issues, Tosh is a social spazz, Gwen gets everything she wants without even trying, and Jack is a horn dog. This is our happy little cartoonish Torchwood world, before this episode happens. ‘Hey I’ve fed the unwanted children to the aliens,’ is not a nice or endearing crack in Jack’s character. In fact, it’s pretty heartbreaking.

I have thought long on hard about this issue. I liked my happy little cartoonish Torchwood world. Maybe I would have been happier with another 13 episodes of oneshots featuring goofy aliens. But really, I could be watching Doctor Who. Yes, Doctor Who has its sad moments. He also saved the world with a Satsuma he found in his pocket. Torchwood was designed to be a Doctor Who ‘after dark’ and I think we have to trust in that execution.

Speaking of Doctor Who, I fear for the Christmas special. I mean, we know it can’t be that bad. The Doctor is going to regenerate into Matt Smith and have adventures with a leggy ginger chick. Ultimately, it will all be okay. But Waters of Mars showed us cracks in the character of the Doctor. I mean cracks that were almost unbelievable. The last five minutes I was like, what? Is he joking? The End of Time is going to be painful, it’s going to feature an utterly broken Jack Harkness, and a Doctor who no longer understands his place in this universe.

Digression… sorry… so we’re going to accept the tragedy. You don’t have to, but I do what writers tell me to do. It’s my character flaw.

Please tell me that the Canadian Cabinet has a special team called ‘Gold Command.’ If they don’t, I’ll make one. Or possibly Nickel Command. We are a humble nation.

So Gold Command meets to discuss the 456’s demand, 10% of the world’s children. Lois Habiba is still in attendance, with the Torchwood contact lenses, so Torchwood is recording the events. First, they try and negotiate down to give the 456 the children that won’t be missed, in Britain’s case, the failed asylum seekers. The 456 don’t accept, making a power play by forcing the children of earth to chant the exact number of 10% of the child population in the country they live in. Census’ for the win.

Gold Command is forced to ‘select and deliver’ the required children. They fall into logistics, denying first a random draw of Britain’s kids, agreeing to an exemption of the kids of the members of Gold Command, and finally, deciding to pick out the kids from the underachieving schools.

So it doesn’t show this in CoE, but every other nation is forced to make this decision and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper sat with the Canadian Nickel Command and decided to give them all of Atlantic Canada. Not just the kids, he put us all on a bus and herded us to Halifax and tapped his watch waiting for us to go away. Seriously, I was on this bus. When the ordeal was averted, he cursed Jack Harkness, gave us our GST cheques and sent us on our way.

Speaking of logistics, maybe the Americans and Canadians would have followed Britain’s orders to give up their children, the Americans being at the table, and the Canadians being diplomatic pushovers, but what about the other countries? What about France? I can tell you France is going to fight the 456 mostly out of spite for British commands. It doesn’t come to this because Jack is going to save the day. This is what he does.

Ianto corners Jack demanding to know why he hadn’t told him about giving away the kids in 1965, realizing he’s only scratched the surface of Jack’s life. Right, that’s nice pillow talk… ‘by the way honey, there was this one time, I gave some aliens some unwanted kids to use as juice boxes.’ Regardless, Ianto is teary eyed and mad and Jack tries to leave again without telling anyone where he’s going. Ianto mans up and tells him off for this, but Jack shoots him down saying that he’s only leaving to call Frobisher and he doesn’t want them to track down Hub2 (for your own protection: SPIDERMAN LIES), oh and he mentions that he has a daughter and grandson and they’ve been kidnapped by the government.

Crass Jack is in the building, making my favorite person in the world cry and now I’m crying and struggling to breathe.

Using the video record of the politician’s secret cabinet meeting as blackmail, Jack and Ianto force themselves into the proceedings. On his way, Ianto calls his sister, telling her to protect the children, and warning the operators that are listening in to forget the Official Secrets Act and protect their own children as well. What a sweetheart.

There’s a point here where Lois says Torchwood and we hear the Torchwood background sound bite, and Jack and Ianto are loading the guns, Ianto says, ‘yes sir!’ Rhys is off to safety with the evidence, Gwen is making a dramatic spin in her chair, and we are under the UTTERLY FALSE assumption that everything is going to be okay. I can remember this exact moment the first time around, looking at the time and thinking, so what’s the fifth episode about? Hope: Anti-Hope.

The crux of Ianto’s early story line is that he’s not included in Torchwood activities, that he’s just the tea boy. Jack doesn’t actually need him on this particular mission, if you really think about it, but there he is, facing down the 456 while we all wish he was home making us coffee. Jack tells the 456 some Doctor Who philosophy and badass Ianto tells them that they aren’t going to get one single solitary child. The 456 go ‘PFFT’ (not literally) and release a poisonous gas into the building, killing Ianto and everyone else. Jack says tells the 456 that he takes it all back, begging for Ianto’s life. Ianto tells Jack he loves him, and asks one final time for Jack’s approval and dies.

So what’s the right answer?

This is the ultimate question isn’t it. The Torchwood team get all pissy at the politicians, and use the fact that the public will hate whatever decision they make, as a pawn to get them into the negotiations, but I mean, sitting at the table, in Gold Command, what decision would you make?

Covering up the previous encounter with the 456 and killing Torchwood was probably unwise. Leaving out UNIT was probably unwise as well. Story wise, this was probably necessary because as Whovians, we have seen UNIT save the day and we have seen Torchwood save the day.

But at that moment, with no alien ship in orbit to bomb with their special UNIT space rays, the 456 having complete control over every child on earth already, what would you do as a government? It almost becomes funny when politician Rick starts talking about dwindling global resources and spinning it as a population cull, but this happens literally everyday in governance.

I mean, there a big decisions like do we go to war and sacrifice soldiers to liberate people or for other causes both known and unknown to voters. There are also little decisions made in bureaucrats offices by unaccountable civil servants, like which life saving cancer drugs to fund using public dollars. No one likes to admit this, but there is an intentional or unintentional cost benefit analysis to every decision every government makes. Pave a road or support a food program in Africa.

In first world nations, it is completely within our ability to feed and house EVERY member of society, but we don’t. I’m not being judgmental in this. This is just the way it works. Okay let’s back away from sensationalism. Any government could pass a law requiring every car that’s sold in Canada to have at least a 5 star safety rating and be equipped with every modern safety device. Presumably this would save lives. Only a small fraction of the population would be able to afford those cars because they would be new and high tech. My car loses power steering in wet weather. Without it, my boyfriend would not be able to get to work.

We take risks with people’s lives to let the economy run. It’s a fact. The 456 tells us this much. They helpfully point out the irony in the ‘acceptable’ infant mortality rate. I’m not a doctor, but presumably, in a lot of countries, a significant percentage of infant mortality has to do with proper health services, nutrition of mother and baby, health education and other factors that could be addressed by the leaders of that nation.

I don’t think the writers are telling us to go feed the starving children. An injury to one is an injury to all is perhaps an adage one can live by one has a TARDIS. Not really because the effort to prevent injury to everyone is making the Doctor TIRED AND INSANE. I think what the writers are trying to tell us is that some times you can do everything and anything to fix a situation and it still stinks to high hell. There was no right move for the politicians. Jack’s bravado got Ianto Jones killed. If Jack hadn’t given them the children in 1965 we would have all died of the flu (presumably). Even Jack saving the day in the end with that DUMBASS reconstitution wave costs him dearly.

No right answer, heroes can’t fix anything, hope anti-hope. This is why we cry. It’s not just about the death of Ianto Jones.

Oh right, I’m supposed to justify his death without using the ‘someone had to go for dramatic effect’ excuse. It had to be Ianto because the writers are telling us that Jack needs to realize that there are never any good answers, everything he does is going to rip his soul apart, this is the nature of being a hero, and he’s going to run into the Doctor at the end of time and they’re going to figure this out together and somehow find a solution to make us want to live past New Years day 2010. Righto.

Will Ianto Jones come back? Hope says that everyone else in Torchwood came back, even Tosh with her tech support that will never die. I’m agreed that just poufing him back into existence right away would unfairly negate the Children of Earth storyline. Jack is being set up to suffer and we have to see the results in season four. Some of you may not be watching, but I will. I like my heroes a little cracked.

If you’re a Ianto fan, you can support the www.saveiantojones.com campaign and donate some money to Children in Need, because we may not be able to save the world, we may not even be able to resurrect Ianto Jones, but we can help a few kids.

In Defence of Torchwood: Children of Earth, Day 3 (the sleepy edition)

Evidence Ianto Has the Ability to NOT Wear a Suit

 I’ve had two hours sleep. There are spoilers. If this post becomes somehow offensive, I blame the bipolar. Thank You.

Day Three

Funny Doctor Who newscaster montage as a narrative device. I don’t have much to say on this other than the American reporter is the scariest chick ever. I guess this forces us to think as an average citizen who doesn’t know about aliens. All they know is children are talking in unison and the government isn’t saying anything. Pretty sketchy.

Can anyone answer this question? According to canon and ignoring WHOLE YEARS disappearing, has Earth had official alien contact yet? I can’t remember. Regardless. Jack is wearing sweat pants.

Ianto has rescued Jack from his concrete cell, and due to patented local knowledge, has found an abandoned Torchwood London warehouse for them to hide out in, which Rhys christens Hub2. The four of them, Rhys, Ianto, Gwen and Jack, have little money, and are trying not to get tracked by their cell phones and credit cards. Gwen, the clever little devil, decides to take them on a crime spree. They grift, they pick pocket, they outright steal, in the name of national security you know. For the record, if Ianto Jones is asking me for my credit card, imma give it to him, no questions asked.

They get laptops, food, and manage to turn on power to the warehouse, allowing them access to the Torchwood server, and putting them back in the game. Ianto disappears, and comes back with coffee, TP, a brand new perfectly fitting suit, clothes for Gwen and Rhys, and even manages to find a new greatcoat for Jack. Jack’s back!

I am not as epic as Ianto Jones. If it were me being hunted down by the government for no apparent reason, I’d throw on some jeans and a hoodie. Apparently this is acceptable for day trips to the Countrycide, but not the oncoming apocalypse. This is part of his charm, or so I tell myself.

I had the same reaction as Ianto about the sexual uses of Torchwood contact lenses. It took me a long minute to figure that one out. I also missed the stopwatch joke, but perhaps this is evidence of my underlying innocence. Torchwood contact lenses are like webcams for your eyes, and they hook up to the network, so people can see what you see and through typing, they can send messages directly to your line of vision. Gwen convinces Lois Habiba to wear these in order to get a view of what is going on with the 456.

An aside here: when I first heard of Torchwood, I believe I read a log-line that was something about a team scavenging alien technology for human use. As with all good science fiction, this is just a jumping off point for characters to play in. I chose not to watch based on this log-line. Then I watched one episode with James Marsters, was utterly confused, and chose not to watch again. On the third attempt, I rented the season one DVD and I was hooked. Anyway, the scavaging of alien tech seems to take a background in the show, which centered around Rift Activity, and space opera on Earth. However, the Hub was completely powered using alien computer systems, the rift manipulator seems to keep the world from kersploding, and alien cryo-storage is VERY IMPORTANT…

But I digress.

Children of Earth, up until this point, has been an interesting twist on standard Torchwood storytelling, utterly different from everything we’ve seen in the Whoniverse because it takes its time and delves into politics. We sit as a passive audience, enjoying a little Ianto back story, a little Gwen character development, and then at this scene our fandom starts to FALL APART FOREVER.

In what may be called PAINFUL DRAMATIC IRONY, Ianto becomes deeply aware of Jack’s immortality. Well he does this a few times in the radio plays and novels, but this is the first time in the actual show where Ianto realizes that he’s just a ‘blip in time’ when it comes to the life of Jack Harkness. After asking Jack if it hurt to be exploded from the inside and regenerate from bits, the following passage occurs:

Ianto: Do you ever think that one day your luck’ll run out? That you won’t come back?

Jack: I’m a fixed point in time and space. That’s what the Doctor says. I think that means it’s forever.

Ianto: So, one day you’ll see me die of old age and just… keep going?

Jack: Yeah…

Ianto: We’d better make the most of it then.

Jack: Suppose…

Ianto: Like right now?

Jack: Ianto, the world could be ending.

Ianto: World’s always ending. And I have missed that coat.

Jack: Rhys, do you want to take the car down to those shops by the Wharf? We need some discs for these things. Should take about 20 minutes.

Ianto: [quickly] Thirty.

Jack: 30 minutes.

Rhys: I’ll go later; the beans are almost done.

Jack: Beans are almost done.

Ianto: Bloody beans.

There’s a graphic out there with a picture of beans that says c*ck block on it. Nuff said. This is the last time Jack and Ianto will EVER have to be alone with each other. Bloody beans.

So they go back to their research and Jack puts two and two together and figures out why he’s being targeted for assassination, and runs off… without saying anything to Ianto. Bastard. Batman does this too. They both think it’s mysterious and sexy, when really, it’s just EVIL.

While this is going on, Jack’s daughter and grandson get picked up by Johnson in an effort to lure Jack in and use them as pawns. Gwen is springing Clement MacDonald from jail. He’s the crazy old guy that seems to be attached to the 456 but we don’t know why yet. Through all this, I realized that my top nominee for new Torchwood staff is PC Andy. Most underrated supporting character ever.

The 456 beam into their little gas chamber in order to express their demands to the government, and every time Frobisher starts talking diplomacy, they splat goo. This is how I feel about diplomacy as well, except I have no physical ability to splat goo at people.

UNIT, the Americans and the UK PM decide that in order to avoid political and jurisdictional mess, that they should let Frobisher, being an unelected, expendable, and unaccountable civil servant, handle all relations with the 456. Somewhere along the line, Frobisher realizes he’s a patsy, but goes on with his job with classic British dignity.

Habiba gives us a window into the proceedings, writing in the 456’s messages in shorthand which only Ianto can understand but I mean really, she only writes yes a few times and why do you need shorthand for yes? Someone at Doctor Who really has a yen for PAs. I think it’s great.

Jack manages to get Frobisher’s attention by stealing his wife’s cell phone, only to find out from Frobisher that the government has his daughter and grandson, and Jack being the better man, does not kidnap Frobisher’s family as a bargaining chip. The 456 announce that they want 10% of the children of Earth to use for their juicy goodness. Jack wanders back to the temporary Hub, and comes face to face with Clement MacDonald who of course recognizes Jack as the man who gave him and his orphanage buddies up to the 456 in 1965, as a gift.

Part of the heartbreak comes as we start to see Jack as less than the dashing hero with the great smile who makes everything okay. If someone wants to draw me a timeline of Jack’s life, I would be greatly appreciative, because once I think I have it straight in my head, I lose it again. Timey wimey stuff makes me dizzy.

But Jack started out in this canon as a con man. His space debris (I had to remove the word junk here as I am attempting to be some what serious, but now I have the giggles…hehe space junk) con during the Blitz nearly causes us all to turn into gas masked momma’s boys. Of course, Jack quickly redeems himself and gets stuck in our hearts forever. Stuff happens and he ends up joining Torchwood (which in its inception was not really a nice operation-hero Torchwood is purely a Jack construct) mostly because he has nothing better to do while waiting  a 100 years for his next encounter with the Doctor as prophesied by the creepy tarot card girl.

Follow me on this for a second, but this is utterly debateable. The whole imagery of Jack as a solider is not an accidental one. With the vortex manipulator, Jack could go anywhere in space and time, but he chooses to run his scam on Earth, in WWII, during the Blitz. Not my ideal vacation destination, but that’s fine. But he keeps the image, ostensibly not simply for cartoonish character continuity. He likes being a soldier. He points out to Captain Hart that he earned his rank. (Please hold the joke). 70 years is a long time to wear the same jacket.

When he becomes part of Torchwood London, he is nothing more than a soldier, operating under the Queen’s direct orders. Giving away children to aliens as gifts was just part of the job.

Giving away children to protect Earth will become just Frobisher’s job, just Unit’s job, just PM Green’s job. Of course, Jack is reformed and rebuilds Torchwood for the forces of good, but his past haunts him. Our hero has cracks, and it just gets worse from here. 

That’s it! Tonight I will watch the greatest tragedy of the 21st century, and I will attempt to defend it tomorrow WITHOUT using the ’someone had to die’ excuse.  I’m off to find a frame for my GDL signed print which I got from the Casimir Effect fundraiser auction at a HEFTY PRICE. So dollar store frame? I think so. Check it: http://www.casimireffectfilm.com/

In Defence of Torchwood Children of Earth: Day Two

Learned something yesterday. Canadians spell it defence whilst Americans spell it defense. I assume the British spell it defence. I may just alternate between the two in order to be culturally sensitive. Again this has spoilers, but if you haven’t seen Children of Earth yet, what the hell is wrong with you? Come over to my house. We’ll cuddle in bed and watch it on the laptop. We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. We’ll be perplexed together.

Day Two

Really, nothing much happens in Day Two. Stuff happens, but it’s an arc building episode. BUT, I have a list (written in the dark). So here goes.

When we last left our heroes, the Hub was blown up, Jack was mush, and Ianto and Gwen were on the run. Day Two starts with Gwen kicking some ass, and Ianto taking licence plate numbers (of the ambulance taking Jack bits away). However, he doesn’t seem to have any paper on him, and writes the licence plate number on his palm. Does he not have a business card? A notepad? It’s very un-Ianto.

Let’s discuss the 456. I congratulate Torchwood writers on creating a truly scary, scary alien race. It eats children. Well, more sucks their juices. It sucks the juice of children, like a juice box. The children are kept alive, as companions, constantly hooked up by tube to their 456 junkie. Apparently children juice is a nice alien designer drug.

So the 456 forward instructions on to MI5 on how to build a chamber they can live in, full of noxious gas, and of course, they build it, and we wait for the 456 to arrive.

Nice. My next note simply says ‘Rhys Awesomeness.’ I mean, Rhys is always awesome, but I can’t figure out what I wrote this particular awesome for. I love Rhys. I’ve often said that I’d want to hang out with Ianto, shag Jack, and marry Rhys. He was adorable for trying to pack while Gwen was trying to not get them killed, and also for insisting he carry the bag so she could keep her trigger finger free. Rhys is a winner.

Frobisher talks with the Prime Minister, thanking him for the responsiblity he’s been given in this case. I know civil servants like to get promoted, but this still seems odd. Thank you sir for putting the end of the world squarely on my shoulders. You’re welcome. The wiser Prime Minister laughs it off saying “That’s why they call it the frontline: first to fall.”

I’m trying to imagine the political fall out of all this if it were to actually happen, and happen in Canada. I have been seriously sitting at the screen and googling for 30 minutes trying to run scenarios in my head. This is my biggest defence of the Children of Earth. Torchwood writers have spun a political tale that makes even a person trained in politics scratch her head. One of these questions was on the front page of Canadian newspapers today: if someone screws up in a government department, who takes the blame? No one really knows. It’s a quagmire.

The Prime Minister is downloading the responsibility for the 456 to a civil servant because they are far harder to prosecute, it’s a legal and constitutional mess, and then you add in anti-terrorism laws and the Official Secrets Act, and well, the press has now given up and moved on to the next news cycle. Wiley Prime Minister. He knows there’s no good solution to this situation, so he deflects the blame in a million different directions. He won’t come out a hero, but he won’t come out a villain either.

We see some more Ianto character development in his meeting with his sister, saying his father pushed him too hard on the swing and broke his leg, his sister retorting that he should have held on tighter. We love Ianto for his impeccable coffee and snappy suits, but one has to wonder what he’s trying to prove, trying to control, by having everything just right all the time.

He’s the perfect PA, having Jack’s jacket ready before Jack even knows he needs it, but at some point it’s like, who are you trying to impress anymore? He has just survived a giant explosion that has potentially killed the love of his life, the government is out to kill him, and he’s covered in blood and muck, but Ianto Jones does not even loosen his tie, or unbutton his vest. This is the magic and the tragedy of Ianto Jones.

So Ianto has a laptop and is off to track down the truck Jack was in, and Gwen convinces Rhys they have to London to get closer to the powers that be. They do so by hopping in a potato truck. SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TRUCK TO ME? Why are some of the potatoes in bags, and some strewn across the floor of the truck? I mean, I know why, it’s for the imagery of showing that they are in a potato truck, but in reality, loose potatoes would be in a container truck, piled high to the ceiling destined for packaging, and packaged potatoes would not be in the same truck as unpackaged potatoes. I’m sorry. This bothered me.

Gwen tells Rhys she’s pregnant, he’s happy, and worried. Why isn’t Gwen worried? How is she going to be a Torchwood mommy? More later.

They meet up with Lois Habiba who has decided to commit treason on her second day on the job, and she gets them the plans to the compound where Jack is being held. Gwen offers her a job at Torchwood when this is all over.

Do we want Lois Habiba as a new Torchwood member? She seems kind of mousey to me. And the value of her skill set is only determined by whether or not Ianto is coming back. Torchwood doesn’t need two PAs. I would buy her more as a government contact, a mole even, for the new Torchwood regime. Regular guest star would be most appropriate, in my opinion.

Jack reanimates with a lot of inconvenient camera angles where ALL OF US were looking to see Barrowman junk. Johnson, freaked out by this, fills his cell with concrete to keep him contained.

Two things: EVERYONE knows that when dealing with any sort of immortal, you must scatter their body parts around the world, or set them on fire, or do something to seperate the components of the body or else they’re just going to regenerate. Weird thing is that when they brought Jack in, he was only an arm and other bits, so he must be able regenerate on the cellular level to such a capacity that he can grow new body parts from other unrelated body parts.

Personally, I got the idea that Jack’s immortality was more based on super fast healing powers. You reach a whole new sci fi level when you talk about growing people from an arm. OKAY so the Doctor did it, but he’s special and had special energy and stuff. Theoretically, could you chop off Jack’s finger and grow a new Jack? Can we try this sometime? So Jack can make out with himself? Yes.

Second, I happened to be watching ‘Exit Wounds’ last night as well, where Jack is buried in the ground under Cardiff for like a hundred years, dying, waking up, and dying again. Then they put him in concrete. You would think this would eventually drive a person insane. Not Jack though. I quibble, I know.

Gwen realizes that she can’t possibly rescue Jack from a block of concrete, but never fear, Ianto conveniently shows up with a crane dealy, rips the concrete block from the wall (mechanics, yes, I know), tells Gwen and Rhys to hold on, and drives away at 10 miles per hour. Somewhere on the compound was an oil truck, which Gwen explodes with two rounds from her gun (isn’t she running out of ammo?) and off they go, dropping Jack off a cliff to free him from the concrete, still naked, just in time to save the world from the aliens that are coming ‘tomorrow’.

I know I’m supposed to be defending this show, but I mean I am. The last scenes are classic Torchwood: nonsensical, full of joy and humor and hope, and heroes save the day. We are once again left with the feeling that everything may be okay. The team is back together, along with Rhys, and they have a chance to fix things, only to have our ENTIRE WORLD collapse in the next episode. Hope, anti-hope. Some fans have complained about this rollercoaster ride, some really enjoyed it. I found it exhilirating and heartbreaking at the same time.

Final word: Ianto in the construction outfit.

If we’re going to be logical about this, he probably disguised himself as a construction worker to steal the crane. Take a minute to absorb this all. Ianto stakes out a construction site, steals some poor worker’s hat, vest and shoes, and takes off at 10 miles an hour to a secret military compound to rescue his immortal boyfriend. Let that image sit with you. Sometimes the humor in Torchwood is implied, not evident. He doesn’t need the hat and vest to operate the machinery. He could have taken them off. I posit that this outfit was purely for the squee value and for that I would like to thank Torchwood producers.

Tomorrow: Day Three? Well maybe. I have some writing to do for which I will actually get paid, but if I have time (and the emotional stability) to watch Day Three tonight, we will continue on with our series.

In Defense of Torchwood: the Children of Earth

 This is a play by play synopsis and defense. So yes, spoilers and things you may disagree with. If you do not want, go away.

This is going to be quite difficult to write, for many reasons. First, and obviously, it’s hard to see past the death of Ianto Jones when discussing this series. It took me months to even be able to rewatch it from start to finish. Second, Children of Earth is not an easy thing to understand or to peg down. It has many layers, and resolution that lends little satisfaction.

However, I do feel like it’s worth discussing. There is just too much to dissect to write it off as simply the story of the death of Ianto Jones. Pushing Children of Earth into that corner category doesn’t give enough credit to science fiction and those who created it. Speaking of creators, I wasn’t in the writer’s heads when they were doing this, and I obviously don’t have access to the bibles for season four so it’s hard for me to judge Children of Earth in terms of the longer Torchwood narrative. This is a fan’s view. That’s all.

Also, I don’t have the video with me, so I’m going to do the best I can from synopsis and memory. If things start getting too long, I may split the posts up.

That’s it. Here we go.

Day One

It took me a few rewatchings to pick up some of the cute Jack and Ianto details that, looking back, are a little heartbreaking. It seems they are at the point in their relationship where definitions start to become necessary.  Presenting themselves a neighbours of a heart attack victim who is carrying an alien species inside him, this exchange ensues:

Ianto: Heh, he thought we were a couple, he said ‘You two’, the way he said it ‘You two’.

Jack: Well we are, does it matter?

Later, Jack said he hates the word couple, and Ianto hesitantly agrees with him. Ianto’s characteristic insecurities are papered all through CoE and that’s part of what makes it so hard. We’ve all been there right? In love with a shining star and you just don’t know for how long you can hold on to him. More on this later.

We are also introduced to  Dr. Rupesh Patanjali. We are reminded of Owen first when Gwen says hello to his crumpled up picture on her desk, and then this smart young doctor comes along, tracking down the Hub, while Ianto and Jack watch and giggle and wonder how determined he is to know about Torchwood. Gwen says bollocks to this and goes out to have a chat with him. This chat is almost hopeful as we begin to think that the team may get rebuilt. Rupesh is a likeable character and would be watchable as Owen 2.0.

But CoE is not about hope. Maybe you could say CoE is about the anti-hope.

So the children start talking in unison which is completely creepy. How they wrangled so many school kids to stay still and talk in unison, I’ll never know. This starts off the mystery that Torchwood must tackle.

Ianto and Jack are thrown off their game, realizing that they need a kid to study in order to determine the cause of the behavior. This sets us up for yet another patented CoE heartbreaker. Jack wanders off without telling Ianto anything, only making a crack about ‘now who’s the couple’ when Ianto asks where he’s going. Then Ianto wanders off as well. Their mission? Suck up to their families so they can experiment on the children they’re related to.

Stop here. Okay another reason why CoE is so heartbreaking is that it shows our heroes being less than heroic. I don’t think this is a bad thing. I mean, it’s hard for regular Torchwood viewers because the heroes of Torchwood are just so stunning and almost comic-bookish. Jack Harkness always shows up with his Webley to save the day. Always. This is what he does. He says ‘I’ve got you,’ and this means everything is going to be okay.

Even the character flaws and mistakes throughout season 1 and 2 only served to bring the team closer together. They were heroic flaws. Ianto brought the cyberwoman in because he loved her, nearly ending all of humanity. Owen opened the rift to get Tosh and Jack back, and nearly ending all of humanity. Jack loses Grey in the attack in the future but he was only a kid, trying his best. I could go on.

Season 2 in ‘Adrift’ we start to see the darker side because practicality rears it’s ugly head. Jack can’t fix the people who get lost in the rift and spit back out, so he covers it up, and hides them away, and tells Gwen not to ask questions. It’s not pretty, but what is the other solution? Gwen’s solution causes the mother to freak out and have a breakdown, saying she wished she had never know the truth. The truth ain’t pretty.

Do we want science fiction with neat endings that wrap up at the 43 minute mark, just in time for a group hug, or do we want to grapple with issues like what do you do when none of the options or solutions are acceptable at all? I think you have the answer this question before you finish CoE. Personally, I think there’s a happy medium somewhere and Torchwood is going to have to find in season 4.

But I digress.

Back to Torchwood. Jack and Ianto have wandered off to visit their families in a VERY thinly veiled attempt to get children to experiment on. And their families, not being moron’s, see right through this and this shines a BRIGHT light on the characters of Jack and Ianto. It’s Torchwood first, the rest of the world second. We don’t want to see our heroes as crass workaholics who care nothing about human connection. Truth is, we’ve spent two seasons totally wrapped up in Torchwood, and now the writers are showing us that ‘hey, there’s something else going beside Torchwood.’

Okay okay, Jack does tell his daughter that he’d visit everyday if she’d let him. There is some very sad tension here. Jack obviously takes care of her financially and wants to be involved with Steven, but he’s also an immortal agent from the 51st century on a mission to protect humanity from alien technology. How do you explain that to the damn kid? Moreover, I think that Alice has been warned by her mother that with Jack comes danger and with Jack comes the potential for being abandoned so he has time to save the world. Can you smell the foreshadowing? I can.

Either way, the meeting doesn’t end well.

Meanwhile, Ianto visits his sister who is immediately suspicious as he hasn’t visited in ages and all of a sudden wants to take the kids out for fast food. Also, I believe Ianto gives the kids money. Which is hilarious. Ianto’s sister chides him for being away for so long, and they enter into what is probably the highlight of episode 1, for Ianto fans.

Ianto: So you have dinner with Tina.

Rhiannon: Not in town. Susan said he was gorgeous. Like a film star. Like an escort.

Ianto: He’s my boss.

Rhiannon: She said it was intimate. I said well he’s had girlfriends, and she said, well no girl was getting her feet around that table. No chance! have you gone bender?

Ianto: [looks at Misha] Misha’s hearing this.

Rhiannon: She’s not bothered. Her friend Shan gots two mothers. [pauses] Go on? [longer pause] You never tell me anything these days. Dad died that was it. You were off-you couldn’t wait. Like I did something wrong. I didn’t. Did I?

Ianto: [shaking his head] It’s not that. It’s my job. It’s..difficult. It’s…[closes his eyes for a second and opens them again] He is very handsome.

Rhiannon: No?

Ianto: Now stop it.

Rhiannon: You’re kidding me? Really though? Really? Christ all mighty! [pause] He’s nice though, is he? Is he? Oh my…I’m mean since when?

Ianto: It’s weird. It’s just different. It’s not men. It’s…it’s just him. It’s only him. And I don’t even know what it is really, so…so I’m not broadcasting it.

It also may have created some mild controversy. Some have said that this was an attempt to reign in Ianto’s gayness for whatever reason. Now I tread delicately here, but tread nonetheless. Jack is bisexual. There is no doubt in this. Jack doesn’t even limit himself to humans. Aliens, buckets of goo, it’s all good. This is just Jack. We love him for it. He’s a big ball of love and he’s got plenty to share.

Ianto, well Ianto falls in love hard. I mean, look at what he did for Lisa. Beyond even the constrains of logical storytelling reality, he gets a job at Torchwood, builds a secret lab to keep her alive, and keeps her there for what like 6 months? I mean, forget the quibbles I have with that whole episode, he’s pretty dedicated. I’m pretty sure during the Ianto/Lisa era, he would have easily said if asked, “It’s not women, it’s just Lisa.”

What he’s saying here is not that he’s not attracted to men (or women), it’s just that he’s so blinded by love for Jack, there is nothing else. Love for Jack makes anything possible, even a change of ’sexual lifestyle’.

Enter something fairly new to Torchwood: the extended side story. We are introduced to three new characters who live in a world completely outside Torchwood: politics. Lois Habiba (just found out that this was role intended to be completed by Martha Jones, but Freema had other obligations) is a combo of Martha Jones and her sister, who we’ve seen in Doctor Who working as a PA for PM Harold Saxon. We follow her on her first day at her new job as a PA (I love PAs) to John Frobisher, a high-ranking career civil servant, and Bridget Spears, his life long assistant.

Starting her job on the WORST FIRST DAY EVER, there is mass panic due to the mouthy trance children, and the Home Office is flooded with calls which Habiba and Spears must field. Now, I tell you as a person experienced in politics, this is quite a tricky thing. About 75% of the calls you would get are from quacks, or from other government officials asking stupid questions. These can be handled by secretaries. But a very good secretary knows which calls need to be pushed through to the official. This is a valuable skill. Lois does not have this skill yet. As a result, when she gets a call from Captain Jack from Torchwood saying he can help, he doesn’t get through. This wrankles Jack, but he regains his composure, is polite to Lois and wishes her good luck. Always the gentleman.

In the chaos, Spears has given Lois her pass codes to help with the work load, and when she logs the call as Torchwood, she get’s hit with all this information about Torchwood, which oddly enough seems to be in wiki style. I WISH I HAD ACCESS TO THAT WIKI. so much. So Lois is in the loop.

MI5’s Mr. Dekker tells Mr. Frobisher that it is indeed the 456 that have returned, Frobisher passes this along to the Prime Minister who promptly determines that the historical events leading up to this day, involving the 456 must be immediately erased. He also washes his hands clean of the whole situation and tells Frobisher to handle everything, including the elimination of everyone (including Jack Harkness) who was involved in the previous 456 visit.

And we stop here.

It is a little difficult as Canada and the UK have very similar systems of government, but we use different terminology. Frobisher is an under-secretary, which to us would probably mean he’s somewhere akin to a deputy minister, ie. a high-ranking unelected bureaucrat. These people have massive amounts of power. MASSIVE. They are unelected, so if they screw up, they are unaccountable to the people. If they cover the asses of their elected bosses, their bosses are happy, may issue them a public slap on the wrist, and they keep their jobs and their status.

The Prime Minister is trying to protect his historical record by downloading all the responsibility to the civil service, who are basically anonymous and out of the public reach. This is important. Keep this in mind.

Meanwhile, Gwen is off looking for Clement MacDonald who thinks she smells and tells her she’s pregnant.

Jack, having failed to acquire a child the hard way, decided to check out the children’s ward of the hospital. Rupesh gets a hold of him, and shoots Jack. Chick ninja assassin Johnson (sent from Frobisher) kills Rupesh. Turns out Rupesh was trying to infiltrate Torchwood as a spy, so this isn’t a big loss. Johnson implants Jack with a bomb, and when he wakes up, he’s sad to see Rupesh dead, and wanders back  to the Hub.

In a miracle of science fiction vehicles to move the plot forward, Gwen’s at the Hub scanning her belly to see if she really is pregnant, everyone’s happy, Ianto’s lost the SUV, and ooops scanner shows there’s a bomb in Jack’s gut and everyone runs away. Well, Ianto wants to stay, but Jack pushes him onto the invisible lift, kisses him, tells him everything’s going to be fine, ( IT IS NOT GOING TO BE FINE) and the Hub goes KABOOM.

First, what about the weevils in the vaults? Poor poor Weevils. And the archives. The archives are now gone. Sniffle, I like archives.

Second, it was kind of ingenious of the government to blow Jack up retroactively, while he was in the Hub, thus intending to take out the team and the whole operation. Lucky that convenient piece of alien technology picks up bombs as well as babies, saving Gwen and Ianto so the show could go on.  Considering Torchwood has saved the world a few times in the past few years, it seems a little bit of an overkill. What is the Torchwood exit strategy? Who would be around to clean up after the rift?

Third, why was the government trying to infiltrate Torchwood using Rupesh? I bet it was something inane like budgetary questions. Torchwood seems to get a lot of money to operate, what with being a secret agency over which the government has no jurisdiction. I bet he was really a doctor/financial analyst. I am mostly joking. More later on Torchwood sovereignty issues.

So I’ve decide that that was a whole lot, so I’m going to watch Day 2 tonight, and go through it tomorrow. Thoughts on Day One? We get to see a little more into Jack and Ianto’s life outside Torchwood, which extends their characters nicely. We also seem to be getting set up for socio-political commentary and we will keep our ears open for that. We are also forced to face that Jack and Ianto aren’t heroes in everyway. Ianto is insecure and forgets his family, getting eaten up by job he loves and a relationship that he will basically die for. Jack is loved by everyone, except his own daughter who seems to despise him and have a major grudge. He has no idea what’s going on with the children, has no way to find out, then he gets assasinated. All in all, it wasn’t a nice day for the Torchwood team. Cept Gwen… she’s preggers.

Yeah, I got nothing…

Showcase/Syfy’s Alice was on last night, and it’s on again tonight. I really liked it. There was a steampunk beetle dealy. Alice had black hair instead of blonde, which is always nice, and her dress and tights were drool worthy. I was worried they were going to descend into social commentary, but they did not, which was nice. I feel like the feelings casino was more a feast for the eyes than it was a comment on generation me. I have movies that are about stuff.

We will see tonight if the sexy Hatter comes back to save the day, or if Jack Chase turns out to be not a jerk. And who will get tae kwon do Alice? I am positively a twitter…

Daily Hot Guy

Dirty thoughts about the Mad Hatter… Effin tea boys ruining my life. MY LIFE.

I really have nothing else to say. I’m staring down the barrel of another 40 hour week, but life ain’t bad. I really need a snack. And a Diet Coke. Bai.

my attempts at structured blogs seem to have failed

more pop culture goodness at a later date. maybe i’d get some hits if i blogged about new moon. or just said new moon. new moon.

 

so things i’ve been thinking about

i’ve been very happy lately. like, insanely content with everything. well almost everything. i need to lose weight and not be in debt. but life can’t be perfect.

and not manic, psychotic break happy. i’ve never had the type of mania that’s fun. well maybe this is it. but if it is, it’s peaceful and harmless and i can live with it.

i have bipolar disorder… in case i haven’t mentioned it A BILLION times. *cough*

i’ve been writing a bit about my recovery. cause it’s pretty epic and i NEVER thought it would happen. i mean, two suicide attempts pretty much means you don’t think you’re going to get better EVER.

and i’ve attributed recovery success to various things. wellbutrin changed my life. after struggling for years without medication, giving in and taking medication but having HORRIBLE reactions to said medications for even more years, wellbutrin has been a miracle. it is quite amazing to wake up in the morning at a reasonable hour and feel awake and refreshed and ready to take on your day. this only happens if i take a wellbutrin the night before.

previously, i was sleepy. all the time. like depression, not in the boo hoo i’m sad sense, but depression in the way that the electricity in my brain is not functioning and my whole brain function is depressed, slowed, labored. and then the manic switches weren’t of brilliance as they are in some people, they were just a firestorm of electrical noise that overwhelmed my senses and caused me to act out in vain attempts to dull the noise. it was not a good existence.

i also went to rehab. for depression. but we were in the same programs as people in rehab from alcohol and drugs. they taught me a lot. like that you have to live from minute to minute when it seems to hard to face another hour. just do one more minute. that’s all. it really was the other patients that helped me most in that hospital. i saw real suffering like i could never even imagine, as most of my pain was due to chemicals or genetics or what have you. these people had real bad shit happen to them, and needed help to recover.

but mostly i learned to laugh again. after a trip to the mall, we got stuck outside the hospital without a parking pass. somehow this erupted into the giantest giggle fit of my life. me and this chick were just rolling in the parking lot laughing. it made me realize i need people in my life. i need laughter in my life. i still struggle with attempts to be social, but at least now i try.

yeah and i got saved. but that sounds hokey so all i will say is jesus christ for the win.

i hate self-help books, but i read a few winners. one  is ‘highly sensitive person’ by elaine aaron. now a big part of me thinks a lot of this book is hokum. her postulation is that there is about 20% of the population that are easily overstimulated by the world around us, ‘highly sensitive’ as it were, and that these people have to take a different approach to life. i was given this book by a doctor, on the theory that since i’m a cutter, the cutting is a way for me to cope with the noise when i have no other means of coping. instead of being bombarded by all other stimulation, cutting would focus me on only one sensory experience, pain.

my feeling is that we all exhibit sensitivities to a certain extent in certain situations. i don’t think that it is truly a personality subtype or whatever she wants to label it. but i guess that doesn’t really matter, because her ideas work. at least the did for me.

i’ve learned to recognize this certain state that i get into, and i call it me being ‘overstimulated’. it’s not true mania, because it doesn’t last the two weeks required to be mania. i mean it would, if i didn’t have meds and coping skills. but, by the book, it’s not mania.

usually it presents like an anxiety attack, except that i have jumbled racing thoughts and feel like i’m turning in circles. when i feel this way, all i have to do is look for the source of the stimulation and eliminate it. sometimes it’s as pedantic as turning off the lights if they’re too bright. closing the myriad of tabs im looking at on the net, closing the laptop, not reading certain books or watching certain things when i am in a certain mood (ie. no torchwood). taking a walk. drowning out other noises with bad emo.  and if all else fails, using medication that turns down the volume on my thoughts.

it’s also taught me about things that make me more sensitive than usual. hunger, caffeine withdrawal, busy days, emotional stories, social situations, medication imbalances, lack of time with God, not having the opportunity to write or tweet or talk with friends. i learned to anticipate these situations and give myself extra time to unwind when i’m facing them.

the single greatest trick? she said that highly sensitive people don’t need naps, but they do need to sometimes sit in the dark for 20 minutes with no noise and just let the thoughts run through their heads. let the wheels turn and the ideas resolve themselves. i do this a lot, and when i come out of it, i come up with the most brilliant solutions to things, ideas i never would have thought of, and i feel refreshed and ready to take on my day.

(note: this is not rumination. if you’re sad, and you just keep thinking you want to hurt yourself, do not sit in the dark and think about it more. go and do something. anything. talk to me on twitter. anything other than sitting there and stewing)

yeah, it’s stupidly simple i know. give yourself time and space to think. don’t let yourself be overwhelmed. be aware of what triggers you into a bad mood. compensate with things that make you calm.

they had a class at the hospital that i was in that was about basic self-care. and i mean basic. think, showering. there is a program in the health care system completely dedicated to the teaching of depressed patients how to shower. i mean, not literally how to shower as in how to apply soap, but ways to force yourself, persuade yourself, beg yourself, to complete the necessary tasks of daily life.  this seems really dumb, but honestly, depressed people can seriously lack life skills.

ya see i was a very independent child. VERY. and quiet. and shy. so somewhere along the lines my parents figured that i was all set for life. i didn’t ask questions. i didn’t ask for help. i took care of everything i had to do. i had no problems. but the truth was that i needed my parents. i needed someone to tell me that if i failed at something, they’d pick me back up and help me fix it. i needed someone to tell me that brushing your hair was an everyday necessity. i needed to freak out and cry about things that shouldn’t bother me and i needed someone to say hey, it’s okay that you’re sad.

i’m not going to blame things on parents. i was a messed up child. i had poor social skills. i never asked for help. i was oversensitive about everything and i hated that about myself, so i covered it up with rigid stoicism the likes of which the british have never seen. and then when i’d had enough of not being able to cope, i’d lose it and do something drastic. this was the cycle i was in. it took 10 years of therapy to figure this out. figuring this out was beyond a mom or dad’s call of duty. 

and now? sometimes i jump in the shower without even thinking, and do my shower thing, get out, dry my hair and suddenly it hits me: i just did that, i didn’t have to force myself to do that, i rock. you don’t even understand. i parked at the back of the lot at the movies last night, and i walked the long distance to my car and it didn’t make me feel like i had just run a marathon. it felt good to move my legs and breathe the night are. THAT IS HUGE FOR ME.

honestly, i’m still in shock at this sustained happiness. i thank God for it everyday. i take active measures to prolong it (excercise, sunlight, meds, socializing, eating right, writing, prayer, therapy). i am still a little afraid that this happiness will go away. i mean, tragedy will strike, and it will be a struggle for me to recover. meds will stop working and i’ll have to find new ones. i will get stuck in a rut and have to force my way out of it.

but like that sex addicted, crack addicted, alcohol addicted co-patient said to me on that day that changed my life: i’m going to take it one minute at a time. cause we have no other choice.

AUTHORS NOTE: i was not a smelly person. i did shower. it was just hard. thank you.

Really, I am.

torchwood, or how i learned to relax and love the rift

Some have asked me about Torchwood. So I will expand upon this topic.

 

 

Okay so most Torchwood loglines describe this show as ‘A secret agency which scavanges alien technology for human use.’ I would buy this for maybe one episode, the first one. In it Owen uses alien pheremones to get a girl (and a guy), Toshiko for some reason downloads ‘Great Expectations’ (has she not heard of google books) and Suzie brings flies back to life. As you can see this is a thin premise for a weekly series.

Ask me what my favorite sci-fi of the past decade has been and I will invariable say the Battlestar Galactica reboot. This is a serious and reputable show. You can believe that those events may someday happen to humanity and it gives us concrete clues on how to deal with this. It tackles issues such as labor relations and poly-theism. One for the sci-fi history books.

And then you have the little gems that can be considered sci-fi technically, but they really are so character  driven that they stand outside the genre. Star Wars, Star Trek the Original Series, Doctor Who, Buffy, first three seasons of the X-Files.  These shows have humor and grace and they hit you right in the core of your humanity. I would argue that Torchwood is one of these shows.

 

The Gay Thing

 

I really don’t know why I’m starting with this issue, but here goes. Ianto says, “It’s not men, it’s only him.” There is nothing wrong with openly gay men on televvision who chase boys and make self-deprecating jokes, but that simply is not what this is. Jack simply loves. He loves humanity. He loves everyone. He loves everything. He is a lover.

And who needed that love the most? Ianto Jones, the bashful unassuming coffee boy who tried to secretly resurrect his robot girlfriend. Torchwood, in fact executes many nods to the idea of ‘it’s not gay or straight, boy or girl, it’s just love.’ This is what we need. No stereotypes. Just love.

Jack is the epitome of this idea. He loves his team even when they make the worst mistakes, sometimes even more after they make the worst mistakes. Jack is grace embodied in 51st century pheremones.

 

Why I watched the First Time

 

I’ll admit it. I turned on Torchwood just to see James Marsters. He was only in two This is why I will tune into Caprica. It is only for Marsters.

He was in two (maybe three) episodes of Torchwood as Captain John Hart, the strangely attired former Time Agent partner of Capt. Jack. He caused general chaos and was absolutely delicious. I was sad he wasn’t around more, but the show hooked me from the start so this was acceptable. My thoughts on Capt. Hart? It’s hard to love a shining star. This is the crux of his character. That is all.

Technology

Rift in space and time? Vortex Manipulator that doesn’t actually work other than to turn off car alarms? Rift keys? Rift Monitors? It’s all delicous impossibilities that set us up to watch the characters we love squirm.

Jurisdiction

Outside the government? Beyond the police? But with Crown Corporation paygrades? Again, bunk. But would we actually watch Torchwood London play by the book, according to regulations, in suits, typing constant reports? No. This is not fun. We need government pirates with Webers and cool jackets.

Gwen Cooper

This may be unpopular, but I love Gwen Cooper. In many ways, the show is told from her point of view. We get to see Torchwood when she joins up. She beats the RetCon, outlives Suzie, and is suddenly promoted to second in command. Why? No one knows. Cause she’s Gwen, the ooey gooey essence that is the humanity that Jack is trying to protect. He says it over and over again. Gwen, don’t lose touch. Don’t let real life drift away. And I love her hair. So shiny.

We’ve seen the so called ‘feelers’ in sci-fi before. Dianna Troy pops into my head, although that is a wretched example. They are humanity’s advocate, a reminder of real life, life where aliens don’t exist, where the world isn’t always ending. They draw us into the story by allowing us to see the epic through their eyes. People may not like Gwen cause of Gwowen and Gwack ickiness, or because she is plain and simple and that doesn’t draw us in. I like her. She’s a hero. She wins.

Tosh and Owen

Toshiko is the stereotypical brainy Asian wallflower, and Owen is the playboy with mother issues. I don’t really need to expand more, but I will. Tosh loves Owen, Owen is mostly clueless about this. I find this storyline a little hackneyed, but I will give these two characters their credits. In my opinion if Tosh had gotten out more, she would find that Owen is nothing more than ‘work hot’ as in, she is only attracted to him because of limited choice. We can see this with Tommy. Tommy is hot. He’s a soldier from the past who loves Tosh and is charged with fixing the time lines, causing his inevitable death.

Tosh is deliciously insecure and annoyingly clever. She makes painful puppy dog faces when Owen flirts. We all know this person. Most of the time I am this person. Owen, what can I say about Owen? Yeah, I don’t know. He saves the world doesn’t he?

The Death of Ianto Jones

Admit it people, we would not talk about Torchwood as much as we have if it wasn’t for the death of our beloved Ianto Jones. I am currently operating under the theory that someone had to die for the sake of dramatic tension and Ianto is the most logical choice. In case I’m spoiling this for anyone, he dies in the third season, episode 4, you will cry. I did. There is a campaign to bring him back. Tension mounts. We shall see.

If Gwen had died, would the Eve Myles fan people be leading a fandom uprising, causing the show to get more publicity and deepen it’s cult status? No. If Rhys had died, well it would be sad, but he was only a supporting character at best and would have done nothing to further the plot. And the thing to remember about Torchwood is that everyone gets brought back to life. Suzie was brought back. Rhys died, and was brought back. Owen, brought back. Jack dies in pretty much every episode. Gwen was shot by a shotgun and didn’t really seem to suffer by it at all. And we consistently see Tosh in posthumous technology quirks of the hub.

Will I watch if Ianto doesn’t come back? Yes. My bigger concern is how are they going to rebuild the Hub? I mean, Jack did save the world so I think he is owed some government funding. But if the Hub comes back all shiny and new, all Torchwood London style, I would be sad. The sewer-chique made it a hideout, a lair, a batcave. We shall see.

Should they bring Ianto back? I go back and forth on this. If they do, it should be epic. No alterna-dimension Iantos allowed. No going back in time and changing outcomes allowed. And it shouldn’t happen right away. Definately a mid to late season arc.

What would make me stop watching season four? If Jack was still a whore. This would be a deal breaker for me. I mean, really, in Jack’s life there has been a 100 Iantos. But the moment Jack cracks a grin at some passing alien, I part of me will die inside. I love Ianto. He should love Ianto more. Petty emotions aside, it would be a very interesting character development to see a sombre, cowed, heartbroken Jack, possibly very drunk and suicidal and bitter. The Bruce Wayne Jack. This I would watch. Word is that Barrowman is in the Doctor Who holiday specials and this should provide us with clues.

The Children of Earth

I also go back and forth on this issue. Children of Earth was very serious. Uncharacteristically serious for Torchwood. There was some mild character development, mainly Ianto and his sister talking about Jack, and Jack and Ianto’s callousness in trying to use the children they are related to to try and solve the 456 puzzle. I would go so far to say that Children of Earth is like apples to oranges to the main series. Both good and full of fibre.

The brilliance of the Children of Earth is that it leaves you saying, ‘Huh, there were no heroes in this story.’ I mean, at times the callousness of the Prime Minister is a little tough to swallow, but you can understand a person trying to save his placeholder in history. We see John Forbisher, the ever dedicated civil servant, but really he is only doing what he is told. Jack sacrifices Ianto in a bid to save the day, and fails, then sacrificing his only grandson in a second bid to save the day which eventually works, but I mean, it was his grand kid. Harsh. Gwen runs around yelling about the Doctor in a shakey handcam and Rhys cooks beans that breaks the hearts of millions of Ianto-ites. Lois Abiba? Maybe I would buy her as a hero, but really, she committed treason when you come right down to it.

And the point of the story? This is what makes the death of Ianto Jones so hard. There doesn’t seem to be a point. Would you sacrifice 10% to save millions? Governments do this all the time, every decision that they make. I am not exagerating. Rightly, every Canadian tax payer dollar could go to saving hungry children in Africa. Why don’t we do this? Cause tax payer dollars go into healthcare, making roads safe, regulations of every sort, job creation, etc. etc. We sacrifice the 10% if only to lead stable lives. Is this a story we want to sit down and watch for entertainment? Not so much. But not all entertainment is meant to be entertaining. Sometimes we have to hear this horrible heartbreaking message to make us think.

But then, in the end, Jack saves the day. They don’t even let the message stand. So can there be heroes? We don’t know. It doesn’t tell us. It’s a futile excercise. It’s pure science fiction designed to make us think, what would we do in that situation. And there we have left off the silly Torchwood, and moved to the serious Torchwood. Season 4 is supposed to be like nothing we’ve seen before. We shall see what direction it takes.

That’s really all I have. It was silly. Then it was serious. The future is up to them. We shall see.

now let us see if wordpress can inbed OR life ain’t so bad

first watch this. then smile. and watch it again. this is john barrowman being a cheeky monkey.

 

i allowed myself a few days of moping, and think it worked. i’m feeling the happy again.

i didn’t feel as if my job interview went very well. well it’s a fact, it wasn’t great. but looking back, i answered all of the questions, albeit after a long pause to think of what the answer to the question should be. and there were a few doozy questions.

the one about conflict at work killed me, because i am the person the least likely to ever be involved in conflict. that’s just the way i am. i may get grouchy at coworkers, but i bitch to nate, and then i try and see it from their point of view, and pouf, i don’t care anymore… something tells me this wouldn’t have been the correct answer.

also the one about what is the difference between working for government and working for business. i may have gone a little neoliberal in the answer and i’m pretty sure i said ‘the people’ at least 5 times.

i’m not sure what happened. i really want this job and i probably freaked myself out. also, i have a lot of trouble with thinking on my feet sometimes. i need to pace a little, examine my options, make a list, and then chose the right decision. a job interview is not actually set up for this.

and they did like a few of my answers, and maybe they allowed for some nervousness. it’s to be expected. but anyway, i don’t hear about it for a month, so i’m determined to move on with my life.

good things are coming up for me. i was worried about money, but i need to make $1000 a month to make ends meet, and that is acheivable. i will not starve. thank god. whatevers left is going to go to movies and comics.  i just need to cut back on things like toys and expensive coffee. all will be well

 

the Doctor Who special Waters of Mars is airing Sunday in the UK, which means i will have to stay away from twitter all day until i can find a rip off the internet to watch. i have timezones to figure out and other things to work out, but this is definately something to be excited for.

i also bought my tickets to new moon, i am going next sunday at 9pm. this was a strategic decision to avoid the prostatots as much as possible. i can write in hours in defence of the twilight series, but i won’t. you haters don’t deserve to know it’s true awesomeness.

also coming to theatres is road, which should be a pretty epic time.

then we get into the christmas swing. i used to be such a christmas grouch until ya know, i actually became a christian. now i think it is special and awesome and i will be completly happy once i figure out a gift for my father. it’s the presents that get me down. i dont want any and i never know what to get any body. but this year i have everyone figured out, cept dad. i’m about to start paying people for ideas.

once the christmas who ha is over, we get the Doctor Who christmas special which will be full of tears and hyperventilating on my part, david tennant in hamlet, the new sherlock holmes, all followed by the new years special, and shortly after that i should know for sure whether or not i have a new job.

if i don’t. well, there will be more movies and specials and comics, and random videos of john barrowman to cheer me up. alice, gdl’s sherlock holmes featuring a t-rex (?), and they start filming a new season of torchwood.

what’s important is that i am here, alive, healthy and happy. nothing can be more important than this.

also, everyone must see this movie:

 

and i’m not sleepy.